|hahaaha, just to make you laugh...|
How do you sleep?
I haven't thought much about this, because I have been in the habit of taking 1/2 of a 2mg Xanax, before bed. Sleep fine...
I haven't decided yet how much I am going to "share" about my new journey...but I will say I have started counseling. I had a bad experience with a new counselor in December, I knew I wasn't going back to him. It is a long sad story, the mental healthcare in Louisiana after Katrina is horrible...lets just say there are not many options for our provider. I had lost hope after seeing him, and decided I was on my own. Then I "remembered" a visit with my GYN years ago, and she told me she had a counselor working in her office...(God whisper) I got in touch with her, she was in fact in my network and I met with her yesterday, seems a good fit. I am so hopeful...we didn't get to far really in this get to know you session, but she was concerned about the sleep and taking Xanax. Soooo, last night I didn't take it and guess what, didn't sleep much. I am sure it will be a process, of weaning off and finding a new way to get into a good sleep cycle. But it did get me thinking.
As many of you know, we have had a lot happening within our family in the last year, and losing my dog, Rocky in October sent me sliding into a depression. I knew something was different, I knew I had to do something... and thankfully I listened and did. I am used to anxiety, but this little dose of depression...I was not ready for. And I had gone off all medication in Jan. 2011... see, I hit a wall! And this is when I started the Xanax every night, not just when I couldn't sleep.
BUT, I am more than hopeful that this will be a good thing for me. I am working on my health inside and out...I have found a love for the gym (did I say that?)...yoga, oh how I have missed you...and I am so happy I took this step. [Cause it was a big one for me...] but step, by step, I go and I know what I desire, in my heart...and I know what I will do!
I am so thankful for the support system I have, a few special people I can share my heart with and know I am safe with them knowing my thoughts and frets, and nonsense sometimes. They know who they are and they know I love them... And I do think I will share this journey on my blog too. I have learned so much, by reading blogs and found many friends. We all have so much in common, really. I didn't expect to say this much in this post, but I did...we shall see... have a wonderful Saturday! YOU deserve it.