Thursday, July 19, 2012

trying to understand...

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I have so much to share, some things I feel are to soon to tell...
This one is still on my heart, but it has eased...I know it is not about me.

It seems I have lost a Dear friend.  The hard part, is I do not know why.  It came at a time I was stressed, scared, and just at the height of anxiousness.  This is the part that hurts the most, she knows exactly how I was feeling and knows how I react to this type of life event.  And yet, she left without a word.  I use the word cowardly, because I feel it was.  Un-friended on FB, seems so childish for the friendship we had, or I thought we had.  But that is how I found out.  I have learned to live with her choice, I just hope she considered it long and hard...to cause this fracture.

I say I am over it, have quit talking about it to my family and friends.  Yet, here I am... It takes time and maybe one day I will understand it.  I don't want to understand it right now, I am still to raw from it.  I don't want to hear her side now.  One day, that will be my question to her, why?

It has been an eye opener, for sure.  I have many friends and I am ok.  But I will be more guarded with whom I love as a 'true' friend.

5 comments:

  1. Kathy:

    I am so sorry to read this. I know all too well just what you're feeling right now. Something similar happened to me about 4 years ago. I am still not friends with that person. We had known each other since we were 17.

    Let me tell you, if your friend walked away from you....it's her loss.

    xoxo
    Kim
    Gerushia's New World

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  2. Kim is right -- it is her loss. There is so much that happens in our lives that we don't understand and some of it we never do understand. Ending relationships is a difficult thing to do but sometimes it has to happen. You just need to be "okay" with it within yourself. And yes, you do have many friends and you are okay. ♥

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  3. You are such a wonderful person...and friend. I hope someday you come to understand that it wasn't about you at all. She looses a precious gift. The gift of friendship.

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  4. It takes time to heal from this kind of loss, that's for sure, Kathy. Especially if she is the one who has pulled away and you have no choice but to let it go.
    Here's to leaning on friends you know will be there and finding places to play ! The best medicine (and revenge) for a hurt heart is to live and love to the best of your ability !

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  5. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I think that now knowing why would be so hard and hopefully you'll have answers some day when the time is right.
    Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your wonderful comment.

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