I am thinking a lot today how we ebb and flow, changes...some good and some bad. The differences as we age, oh my gosh...I saw an ad yesterday and found myself in the 50-75 group. What??? It was for life insurance I think. Hello, wake up call.
I have talked about anxiety, depression, and how I have felt off and on. I am in a pretty good place now, with that said...I have more to do. When I went to my counselor last, she told me to think of where I want to go next...that was my homework, I haven't done it yet. lol... What sent me to her, has worked itself out, I have done the work to get back on track...I am grateful for the experience now, seeing it has helped me feel "right" again.
I also, find myself finding "the old Kathy" these days. I was lost for a good while, and didn't even realize it. I find her coming back, in my reflection now. [When I was kind to myself and I felt good...I wasn't hiding or masking my feelings.] Yes, this is related to how I look, I am beginning to see the slimmer me, the old me. My face is recognizable to myself again in little whispers, I have a ways to go yet. I see a slimmer face, bigger eyes, leaner, less muffin top...but older. That's ok...I know I will no longer be THAT girl...I don't want to be. What I want to be is healthy, and to be good to myself. Thinking enough about myself to eat right, have healthier habits, and go to the gym. That is for my physical body, practicing Yoga is for my spirit. I find myself getting to yoga 3-4 times a week, and I almost crave it. It is good for my soul...I am a work in progress, but moving forward is a good place to be, I am no longer stuck...
Next step is to find something to fill my spare time. I do want to find a part time job, but I hope this time to be more selective... find something I like. Until then, this week I plan to investigate volunteer work, of some sort. I would love to go to the humane society, but the attachment worries me. We will see. Onward...
If your still reading, thank you. I am not a writer, by NO means...I just felt like sharing...not sure why?
You are a writer and you spoke this beautifully. And I believe what you have shared resonates with a lot of people, especially as we enter that mid-life part of our journey. You know I have been and continue to do. The main point is we are always a work in progress. We never get "there" and that's it. When we do get "there" we are done...that is the final stage on the platform.
ReplyDeleteVolunteer work may be just what you want, then again it might not. Attachment at the humane society might be hard for you right now. Don't forget those ladies at the junking shop we went to with the kitties. I kind of see you there. I believe they do as well.
I love that yoga is feeding your soul and that you crave it. Shows that you are listening to your inner voice...that makes me happy for you.
Keep going...you are finding your way and doing it beautifully! ♥
Ok, will never say these words again, "I am getting there"...
ReplyDeletelol...
I know you understand me Sherry, love you for that! xo
For sure...I do not want you "there" just yet thank you very much!! I want you evolving and changing and growing and having new dreams and visions...until the day "there" says "come on home Kathy" ♥
ReplyDeleteKathy:
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you. You are really taking control and turning things around. I know how difficult it is because I'm constantly failing at it. I'm still in a dark tornado of lostness.
I love reading about your daily doings on facebook because you make this big ol' electronic world a bright spot for me!
Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you did. I gives me hope.
xoxo
Kim
Gerushia's New World
I felt that this morning as I was rambling 'on my other blog' lol!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you felt like sharing. It is an encouragement to others - especially me with my weight problem (not doing too well at the moment)...
You have come such a long way, Kathy, and to now want to get out there is SUCH a big step and challenge but because you want to do it I know that you will. I really hope and pray that the right position is out there just waiting for you to apply.
x
Since I have known you I have seen you through quite a bit with communication. I am so proud of what you are doing for yourself now and the most important thing is you know it is best for you too and you are enjoying it. I think going to the counselor you found has done wonders. I know when I saw my counselor for a year he was my saving Grace and saw me through my darkest hours. I will never forget what he did for me. You are seeing yourself evolve in many ways, you heart, your body and your soul. I thank my lucky stars you are my friend, and you are feeling good!!! xo
ReplyDelete"You Go Girl" I know that sounds a little silly, but think about where you were and now...this is really wonderful. I understand depression, and weight loss comes hard for some of us...me included. So keep up the good work and enjoy every minute...Hugs, Mary
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