Sunday, June 19, 2011

feeling disconnected today

 It is Father's Day, I miss my Dad...I will see him in a couple weeks, but a couple times a year...is just not enough.  And yesterday I got a call from my sister that my Mom is in the hospital.  She suffers from RA, has for years and is plagued with foot problems from this hideous disease and the drugs.  She has had 2 bone infections in the past and has lost 2 of her toes...our constant prayers are that this infection is not in the bone...and indications are it is not. But bad enough for her to be hospitalized and on IV drugs, the oral have not worked.
My Dad has been suffering with hip pain, for close to 2 months, he is finally seeing an ease of it, with deep tissue massage and chiropractor care, and now physical therapy.  They have had a terrible time of it.  And now Mom.
Our trip is planned but any new news can spark a sudden departure.  All is good, I don't have to worry about my job, since I quit.  (another long story)
Old habits flooded back to me, I gave in to isolation when I heard this news.  I don't want to isolate, but that is what I know.  I didn't sleep much, but I "listened" and "felt" for my truth... and today is a better day.  I told my husband I love him and I do not mean to turn away...I asked God to let me practice what I have learned...and I feel I will be in a better frame of mind and not run to the worst case scenario, this morning I have talked to the nurses, my Mom a couple times and my Dad.  I will remember to be grateful...she is in the best place right now to battle this infection, Dad is healing and each day brings him a bit more relief.  I am a proud daughter, my life has lead me on our own journey to find our way, I wish it had been closer to them...but they are never far from my thoughts and in my heart, always.

8 comments:

  1. Kathy...my heart goes out to you and your family. You are right -- your mom is in the best place right now and the staff at the hospital will take very good care of her. Your dad is seeing an ease in his pain -- finally, and that is a good thing too.

    You can only be where you are...but as you said, you can be there quickly if needed. Just know that you will be there soon and when you are there, because of all the work you've been doing and how you are approaching life right now -- you will be totally and completely "present" in every way when you are with your parents. Won't that be a joy???

    Sending you hugs and love. I'm glad you told that handsome man you are married to that you love him. ♥

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  2. Kathy, I can only imagine the pain in your heart. You want to put your own hands on your Mom, and that's completely understandable. I pray that God will lead the doctors and give them the wisdom to find the right combination of medications to heal your Mom.

    One of the hardest things for us as Christian women is to truly turn our worries over to God. The control freak in us tends to make us want to turn it over, then take it back. We just want to fix everything, but we need to constantly remind ourselves that..as good as we are at solving problems..God is even better! (John 16:33)

    Hugs and prayers from your MS neighbor!

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  3. Lots of love and hugs Kathy. My deepest love, always! Smooch XOXO

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  4. Thinking of you and wanting to call you. I know how the distance has it's effect on you with your Parents. Let the doctors and nurses take care of your Mom. It is not an easy time when you have multiple health problems. It is just too bad we can not all age gracefully. This part of life is not easy but we will all be there at some point. I am so glad to hear your Dad is doing better. It won't be much longer and you will be on your way to see them and enjoy them. Big Hugs!!!xoxoxo

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  5. I'm so sorry for the struggles your family are facing right now. God is in control and he will help you all through!

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  6. Oh gosh, Kathy,
    I will be praying for your mom and dad and hope that they will be better soon...Sending (((hugs))) your way,
    Cindy
    XO

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  7. It sure is tough to be so far from your family when all is going wrong. It is great that you can be with them shortly, I am wishing you and your family the best

    Carol

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  8. I am so sorry to hear about your parents. I do hope that they are both doing better. It is hard being away from them,I know. We just moved clear across the country (2,500 miles) two months ago, and I really miss my 84 year old mom. I think no matter how old we get, we still need our parents, don't we? Sending prayers your way!!

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