Saturday, February 12, 2011


Well the days are just passing by....Rocky is still on strict crate rest, he is doing well I think.  I only let him out to potty and eat.  The other day he seemed so good, I let him walk around a bit longer, and he was paying for it by that evening.  I blamed myself and fretted big  So back to crate and quick little breaks.  At first he wasn't drinking water, now seems he is having problems with constipation :(  So I am giving him pumpkin, and tomorrow will try a bit of mineral oil.  It might be the back/leg weakness doing it.  It is all...minute by minute....sometimes that is all I can think of....

As for me, I have four 20 mg Cymbalta capsules left, I will take one every other day, and that is the end...I feel no different really.  This has taken four weeks to get to this point.  I am very emotional now, with Rocky and some family issues...I would anxious be on med's too.  But the medication does dull emotion, anxiety but also happiness.  Good with the bad... So this crying is new to me, but it feels good to FEEL again.  I hope to be able to get by with no medication...again, minute by minute.  All in Gods hands, I try to live my life in a different way now, instead of reaching for food, shopping...bitching and complaining...I STOP, and try to "get out of my head".
So, that is about it for now.  I need to change my way of thinking and reacting.  I can't tell you how many times a day, I think of this simple prayer...and recite it!

1 comment:

  1. Oh sister, I cannot tell you how many times the Serenity Prayer has helped me over the humps and bumps. I didn't realize until you brought it to my attention, that the Lexipro I am on is what is keeping me free from tears and emotions. I still feel the sadness of my son's death but it is dull and flat. Hugs, Mollye